She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

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However, they don’t mention Kerner’s advice to perform quick repetitive strokes, diagonal strokes, or to press a flat tongue against her clitoris and let her move against you. After the first, a woman’s genital area is still filled with blood, and her body remains highly aroused. My husband was probably willing to read She Comes First, but since he already reads quite a bit about sex and relationships on the internet, I think that he was perhaps a little skeptical that he would learn anything new and more importantly, that it would actually work. Touch her body sensually—touching sensual areas like her breasts, nipples, inner thighs, and labia majora once she’s aroused can quickly intensify her anticipation. Our referral links allow us to earn commissions (at no extra cost to you) and keep the site running.

They elaborate that women can also orgasm from nipple stimulation because it sends signals to the same part of the brain that’s responsible for genital sensations. He does use a lot of literary analogies, which may not be everyone's cup of tea, but the information contained in them is still quite comprehensible even if the reader is not an English major.

Fun, informative and accessible, Ian Kerner instructs those left behind on modern sexual relationships, giving much-needed advice to those too scared to ask what they feel they should already know. I liked the simple examples of ways that women can adapt the choices they make to ensure they get fulfilment from their lives and how their needs can be quite different to men. She Comes First” Quotes A woman’s time would be better spent on Kegel exercises and the strengthening of the pelvic floor muscles—an exercise known to increase the quality of orgasmic contractions.

Luckily, sex experts explain that there are sex toys that can fulfill Kerner’s advice without exhausting you further. Still, there are also chapters on incorporating manual pleasure (a very important complement to cunnilingus), transitioning to intercourse and practical information on safe sex, in addition to parts that touch very briefly on things such as toys, light bondage, and sexual matters such as premature ejaculation. To more accurately judge when to move to the next step, look for changes in her breathing pattern (like irregular breathing) and tightening of her abdominal muscles.Ideas regarding sex in traditional mainstream culture are centered around male anatomy and satisfaction—penetration is the pinnacle of sex, and sex is over when the man ejaculates. However, he introduces another vital component to female orgasm in the above section: muscular tension. As soon as you place the first kiss upon her vulva, you break the boundary between foreplay and coreplay. Kerner says certain positions can improve her likelihood of having another orgasm, such as having her on top facing you.

Throughout these stages, the sexual tension should build and culminate in a satiating orgasm for your partner. Kerner explains that creating a rhythm is necessary to make your partner orgasm because you must strike a balance between action and stillness to build the arousal and anticipation that leads to orgasm. For those claiming that G-spot climaxes are far more intense than clitoral orgasms, here’s an interesting fact. Sadly, many men – and women – are woefully ignorant of female anatomy in general and about women’s genitalia in particular.But the G-spot is actually part of the clitoris, and the reason it sets of pleasure signals is because it gets stimulated during intercourse. According to Ian Kerner—sex therapist and evangelist of the female orgasm—oral sex isn't just foreplay, it's coreplay, and is simply the best way to lead a woman through the entire process of arousal time and time again. So many women try to be the perfect girlfriends, wives, mothers, friends, sisters, colleagues, business owners, bosses, and more. From my understanding the author believes a high standard woman poses certain qualities that allow her to be who she is.